human nature...a dreadful but surely powerful thing...makes u do many things...dat leaves u in deep regret...the surge of overwhelming energy it gives you...a sudden rush of adrenaline....the instantaneous brashness u attain...all that in juz a moments folly....by the time u come to ur sense and realise wad u were doing, it's all over, and its too late to do anything...hence the regret...no amount of wall banging or hair tearing would help do anything....the deep nagging feeling that u know that u haf juz done a terribly foolish thing, but juz as panicky or worried as you are, u are still surrounded by nothing but helplessness...here i am rambling nonsense it seems, juz voicing out my fears, knowing deep down inside it could be juz me over-doing this...but the fear is real...so real, coz the reason is juz so plain simple...makes me wanna write this all over again to get it off me....it's get too heavy it seems, no where to release it but here....oh well, if i scared anyone, i apologise...truly...i feel dumb writing this all of a sudden...izzit another rush of madness...deeply affected...but as i wrote this...i realise...i think i wld still haf done it...not to scare anyone, no reason to justify it...juz that its human nature...im not saying as an excuse to make myself consoled or comforted, but im juz following my instincts...perhaps, juz perhaps in the event that this works, one thing that it definitely will affirm is that one person is definitely gonna be feeling beyond wad those words actually conveys...joy, estatic, elated, happy...well, seems im digressing already...i dun wanna stop still...i noe it may seem like a bad move at the wrong time and all...but...im lost for words all of a sudden...this may seem like the words of a person deep down at the lowest point of his life, but i can assure u its nothing but one of the most sober moments that ever happened, reflecting about his actions and simply stating his feelings , one which is thought out most sincerely and written with pure honesty...im not expecting anything but a few comments from concerned ppl, and i dun cherish the hope that it changes anything, i juz wish for my stand to be heard...well...im tired, really tired....